Penetrate

I taste your cologne,
Not what leaves the bitter taste on the tip of my tongue.
I love you so much I pretend I don't know,
While this gnawing feeling eats me whole.

I can't turn it off like you can,
Swear to anything above I would if I could...
I would give anything to give you up.
Rip you out of my heart until you're nothing but a bad scar,
If I could wake up never having known who you are...
I would give anything to erase this feeling.
Permanent.
That's how it has to be.

Words that permeate.
I can't be able to go back on what I've done...
This is the only way I can ever get you gone,
How it has to be done.
Somewhere I've got to save myself...
You would let this go on,
Never knowing how much damage you've done,
How much you have fucked me up.

I doubt you'll ever forget me...
Last words so bad I could never take them back,
Maybe you will even regret me when I'm finished...
But you made me do it.
Things you didn't think I had in me,
Fall from my lips like slaps of fingertips...
The closest I've come to heartless,
Odd for someone who speaks so freely from it...
But this has to be permanent.

You had your chance to be honest,
But you couldn't let me go.
Nothing about me was ever good enough,
But nobody else could have me.
I know you would never make it stop...
How long?
Wonder how long you would carry this on.
Not giving a damn that what you're doing is wrong.

This is gone.
The kind of gone that makes you realize you are truly alone.
The kind that's hard-hitting straight to home.
I'm committing a contradictory crime if you look into my eyes,
Going against my heart with every fiber of my being,
Penetrating my soul like a clean pair of scissors,
Permeating my existence,
To remove the part that you hold.
Going against my everything....
This is what it feels like.
Permanent.