Hopeless

One day I will not miss you. I will wake up, go somewhere, meet people, and I won't think about how much better it was when we were there together. That space next to me won't feel empty with someone sitting right beside me. 

One day the weight of the decisions I could not make, the things I could not fix...won't feel so heavy. I know you won't know that feeling, but I don't think you care...because I don't think you felt the weight of the decisions you did make and the things you did not fix. 

The physical healed a long time ago, but you are a scar upon my sanity. The scar of a lover's fists upon your body is so much more than a mark. It is a broken heart. An understanding I can never grasp...an unknown that leaves you reeling, wondering if I was alone in all our shared feelings? But you won't feel that. 

I am now a piece of art I wouldn't hang in my house...much like my own, because I can pick out the flaws no matter what. I am a tear that cannot fall, because I've already hit the ground. The purgatory of existence too much to bear, but I made promises to be here, and I don't break promises...even when I am broken. 

I hang onto the notion that leaves me wide open: one day it won't feel like this. One day I won't miss you. I won't wake up to this emptiness. Though my life may not be full, it will not feel Hopeless. 
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