pizza & cigarettes.

About 96 kilo's of joy,
Smiley chubby cheeks,
A loving arms reach,
A cigarette in hand,
Upon loving wish command,
Sheltering warmth within touch,
Never alone at night,
Holding on to me,
with all your might,
A pizza a coke or two,
The innocent love between two,
Mealy just a dream come true,
Something missing within you,
Distance between,
seemed long and cold,
Your ego body mass cold,
A fragile yellow scold,
Liver screaming blue,
No love within,
Without side of you,
Completely different side ways view,
A mirror,
Or mirror two,
Not looking at me,
But seeing you,
Empty inside,
A horrific ride to hold,
Your perfection bold,
The tiny little pills ,
you count sending chill's inside my heart,
You sold your soul,
I was the price,
Thousands of miles apart,
But standing near,
Your compulsions illness,
So clear,
Not intravenous,
No beer,
Your addiction,
"you",
I begged i screamed,
I cried, i died,
All because of you,
You couldn't see anything,
but what you wanted to,
Your reflection was your weakness,
Perfection the very screw,
Your brain falling apart,
Me holding the glue,
You really didn't see it,
I had no choice not too,
I was going crazy,
Not knowing what to do,
The more pills the thrills to you,
I watched you fading away,
I wished and hope ,
You'd see the light of day,
your gym addiction lead you astray,
But you were completely empty,
You through our love away,
I couldn't get you back,
You screamed,
I yelled right back,
You never heard,
what i had to say,
You'd just turn your back,
And walk away,
So when you bullshit,
the way it went down ,
Tell everyone i left you while broken down,
Casting vicious rumours,
all over town,
Think twice before you speak,
I was strong,
And you yourself were weak,
I stood my ground,
and fought for our family ,
It was you who chucked it away,
You changed your life,
From smoking cigarettes,
To now withholding,
many regrets ,
I'll take the pizza within my hand,
If you could explain,
So i understand,
How your warmest touch,
Could disappear,
And a cold hearted man appears,
After everything I've done for you,
All the love from year to year,
I wish you were an alcoholic,
Then maybe you'd still be here,
I drain the shit right out of you,
Even if you cried,
Squeezing your soul till it dried,
But your sickness is within your head,
And i couldn't get inside,
So now you can live without me,
And i will live knowing,
I tried,
I walked away from you before my soul had died,
I walk with my head held high,
Within my hands my pride.