Poem -

Problem

Problem

Not only were you untruthful to us, 

 You were untruthful to yourself.

 You made a promise that I thought you keep,

 But you're slowly drinking yourself too deep.

 You say I love you and I'll stop,

 But you cleared the bottle to the very last drop.

 I love you and I only want what's best,

 Stop the drinking and put yourself to the test.

 It's important that you listen to the words I'm saying,

 Because if you don't lose the drug you'll lose the ones you love.

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Comments

author
Cello libeer

I need feedback.... what do you guys think of my poem?

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author
Neil Anthony

I like it, it's from the heart, and that goes a long way. In the line " I thought you made a promise that you keep" should read that you'd keep..... Otherwise, keep it up. ?

Reply
author
Cello libeer

Thank you.... both of my poems tell a story that actually happened to me. I feel that i need to make a difference in this world, maybe this is how i start.

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author
Christopher Correia

reads like a letter from the heart, with an emotional plea, Need to be heard....honest organic with  natural delivery and life force, certainly a worthwhile read, excellent writing, cheers poet, please keep writing...good post

Reply
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