Product of disaster

I was wanting to tell you ten years ago I forgive you for all that you've done, but that doesn't mean I can't tell you that your no longer my mum. 
its been so long now and we have grown apart from the day you threw your dagger and it landed in my heart.
I cried at night and prayed for you hoping that you'd see, that your not here for me and that's not how it should be. 
Ive tried to be your daughter you know I really did but all my life I've seen family's that didn't function like ours did.
There were things I needed to say to you, to only my mum I could tell, my dad was none existent and you seemed to be going through hell.
I kept it to myself it helped me grow up fast, maybe this was the turning point when you became my past.
Your account was always different, I think you believed your lies but my account it was my own I seen it with my eyes.
Ive asked for God to fix it but I think he believes were done.
Everyone will say it you only get one mum! and now that I'm a mother I understand this phrase, the very reason it will always hurt a part of my heart forever locked in chains. 
I pored my heart out to you but your eyes were dark and cold. All I wanted was some emotion I wasn't asking for you soul. 
It comes down to this No sorry, I think we've both moved on, I need you to know from the moment that I held my children I knew that I'd been wronged.
I don't care anymore, I'm happy because I let go I'm free.
I was done with being angry and I turned things around for me! I'm the opposite of everything, everything you had to give, when I asked the Lord to fix it maybe this is what he did.
He gave me strength and walked with me, kept my feet on sturdy ground, he knew how hard it was for me to not have my mother around. 
Its easy now to say I'm greatful it's made me who I am. See I am not the daughter of a mother, or the daughter of a dad I'm a product of disaster and I've never been so glad. Because for all the hurt I'm a better person that's why I won't stay mad.