reality

~~This is how I feel
When I wake up
To reality:
I’m not in control,
Forfeited my role
Lost track of my goal,
Abandoned my soul,
Got trapped in a hole,
I can’t seem to care,
I’m tied to a pole,
I’m captured by fear,
I’ve lost all possessions,
I’m captured by me,
Trapped in a dungeon,
Disposed of the key,
Darkness and pain
Is all that I see
When I try to wake up
To reality.

Although I may moan
And tug at the bars
And scream out in pain
And rub at my scars
The thing that helps most
To rise from the chars
Is wake up again
Despite seeing stars.

When I reawaken to reality
I know that I’m me
If I let myself be;
And cuts on my arm may relieve the pain,
Reality tells me there’s not much to gain.

When reality speaks
And shows me my power,
I tell him I can’t,
I’m locked in a tower;
So he says to me,
"You can if you try,".
I ask him “but why,”.

he shows me my future.
I show him my pain.
He shows me a detour.
I say I’m not sane.

He shows me,
I fight back,
And then fight once more.
I say I’m not sure.

He gives me my time.
I cut through the chain

I ask him to join me,
To travel through hell,
To tell me I’ll make it,
'far as he can tell.
I ask him to be there,
To show me the way,
To show me the light,
To force me to stay.

I tell reality
I need him so bad.
The day that he leaves me
I’ll start going mad;

But then something in me
Is screaming in pain.
I search for the source.
I see a blood stain.

With maddening power
I shout and I yell.
I run through my hell.
I’m feeling a pain
I know I can’t quell.

I look from my tower,
There’s no place for me.
There’s no place to be.
There’s no one but me.
And when it sinks in I
Grab reality.

I shut my mind off and fling him to the ground.
A dead body’s sound.
And when I am certain
I suck in my breath.
I jump to my death.
I fall.