rest in paradise

surprise and sadness washed over me
as i saw your wasted beauty lying cold, motionless on the floor
mascara filled tears ran hot black streaks down my cheeks 
why was i the one to find you?
did you want it to be me?
overwhelmed in panic and desolation 
i could barely believe my eyes
and i fell to my knees 
ripping the gun from your grip
already too late
collapsing over your lifeless body 
wishing there was some way i could save you
but the only thing i could do was cry
and cry harder as i told you that i loved you
hoping some how you would hear me
and every day since that day ended
you've been the first and last thing on my mind
i used to blame myself
for not getting there faster or trying to talk you down
and i was hurt and lonely for a long time
but now that i've let time pass, i understand
just remember to take the time to rest in paradise