Roses in my bouquet

There are no roses in my bouquet.

There are plenty of thorns to prick my fingertips as I count the stems,

But there are no roses in my bouquet.

Vines and leaves drape the vase, but they will die in a week

Because there are no roses in my bouquet.

I see sunflowers lying limp on the rim because only the moon casts the light

I see narcissists staring at the ground because they are too selfish to look around,

All because there are no roses in my bouquet.

And I cannot just go and buy more,

Because they would simply be stems,

For you cannot buy the roses that I seek.

I guess I could plant more but,

Where do you find the seeds of desire?

I cannot go pick them from my neighbor's garden,

For she does not hold such beauty and resilience

These thorns that send my crimson heart through my fingers is my...

Hesitation

Hesitation to fill the void with god knows what

Hesitation to say the words that get lost in my lungs

Hesitation to stop hesitating

There are no roses in my bouquet.

Where do you find the roses that stay?