Sense -less

I find it real hard to write a poem that isnt about suicide
Or some twisted story of a broken boys heart
Or a girl whod lost herself and commited so much genocide
Even the story, fell apart

Im sick of writing about long lost love and absenses of required senses to feel what im supposed to feel other than these numb veins

There is no pain

Im all empty, got nothing else left
My poems are the secrets of the depressed
My soul feels nothing, my fingertips burnt
My whole body twitched, could feel him turnt

Against the wind block where the birds mock
The sound of my cry the tears to the skies id flood this land if i could

I lost a boy once one who never came back
They talk about the one that got away
By god i want to chase you
Into the night, not scare you

Ill never find another story like you
You stemmed my poems you made them true
They all mean something they're all personal
Im hoping theyll get me through

I have written so many words
On so many bits of scrunched up paper
Pages and pages of unheard sounds
Endless love letters to stay unfound

In counciling i learnt
To write my problems down
It never really helped until i learnt
How to string my sentences
To show the eyes what are the senses
To bring to life the life ive lived
So you can feel it too

Its not all bad i promise
Some points were so amazing i cant even remember the night
Heavily intoxicated id take a bite
Of greasy food on the side of the street
And then throw up in my shoes

For a while i was saved and heavily dazed
By this beautiful being i called my love
He took my heart and flew above
Little did i know he will not return
So i waited and stayed until the skies burnt
Red with affection
White with perfection
Until finally black and the sun was gone

Not in a metephorical sense
But literal
I find my desperateness pitiful
The words sung by boys ill never meet
Will always make more sense to me
Than the ones spoken to my face
Lies and lies they come in packs
Like wolves and he was their leader
Like seals on land taking a breather

I took a deep breath, and wondered how i got here
Last year was so diffirent i didnt fear
My heart breaking or my face aching
Because id hit it against the wall
Trying to forget the problems even small

My fingers fractured and her face bruised
I wish i could of done more, told her the truth
She was not worth it and i wasted time
But i do not regret it this time

These boys will never save you so dont you be fooled
By story tellers of fairy tails telling you too
Believe in prince charming and cindarellas sparkly dress
Because your prince is not charming and he'll leave you a mess

Sometimes
Maybe one time
Did i ever hurt someone who i regret
So bad my heart still pays this debt
Maybe the "one" or the closest i could get
I could tell you the tale but i couldnt dare speak
His name in my breath again