Shameful Money Maker

Once in my life when I was too good I thought
For making a hard earned dollar
I assumed a working man was a puppet on a string 
I was a entrepreneur in the dirty game of drugs
Not a proud moment of my life, but it fed, clothe, and housed me for years 
As a young man from 18 to 26
I enjoyed my paid holidays 
My no overtime and the freedom of whenever I want time off
The feel of being broke on a Wednesday
Then pocket full again Thursday
Drove my ambition to reach the drug dealing "hall of fame"
Never growing up still paying cop's and robber's 
The excitement of rubbing elbows with gangster
A every day adrenaline rush 
From fast cash and getting away with it 
The feel of being needed always 
Kept my heart an mind impassable
Only the more I got known
The more problems came along with it
As of you step on my toes I punch your face 
You speak ill of me 
I'll make you eat your words
Eventually lending to friends getting shot at or stabbed 
Somehow by God's grace I walk away from it all 
Without being caged 
Only a few scares and some chipped teeth 
As I think of those day now 
I'm shameful because I was raised southernly better than that 
New York had it's dreadful crawls in bedded deep in my skin 
As a man I am today I would spit in the face of that man 
That man no matter how tough he was is a crowd 
I never knew how good it felt to spend money well earned 
Never felt real ownership until then 
Not realizing the pain I caused others from my foolish actions 
Still to this day haunted by the thought sometimes
The feel of not having to look over my shoulder for a cop, or someone seeking revenge for my senselessness 
To achieve real love from a friendship or a woman 
Has been the greatest part of leaving it behind
Though I would never hide it from a soul, because my wrong doing 
Can be taught to others for right doing 
I would never lead some one down that path
I would build a block wall across to stop it's course
To detour a righteous way 
Cause no matter how much love you think is in it 
Man let me tell you what "glitters is always gold" 
Unless you like mining for fools gold
Bracelets that match, or death over ignorance 
Good luck Chuck 
I was bless to get out free and unharmed 
The percentage of this in that field of work is like 1 percent
You could be neck deep, but your head will belong to someone else
So go to school, work, and have a great life 
Other wise invest in a pine box, or convenience of a ceil 
Choose life 
Kill mental incapacity
Get married 
Make babies  
Live free 
Love forever
Teach a generation positivity
Knownlege is power