Sisters

We were so close,
Well as close as two sisters can be anyway.
We talked about our days in bed, every night,
And shared all there was to share.
Then according to you
I put an end to it.
I stopped talking to you
And stopped sharing all my secrets.
I ruined a relationship rare for two sisters to have.
According to you I ignored you completely.
Not just one day
Or when I was in a bad mood,
But for all days.
I locked you out of my life
And I changed.
I don't remember any of this.
But now that I am more open
Now that I talk to you
I am not who you want me to be.
I am not someone to admire;
With the actions of a role model,  
I cannot live up to what you expect your big sister to be.
Maybe this is what blocked us off years ago
Shame
Disappointment
Sadness
And anger.
I am under lock and key,
It's who I am.
Too bad it's not who you wanted me to be.