Poem -
Sky
Gunmetal Grey
That's what I'll name her sky today
she ate a bullet of Summer's dying brass
A grieving child's Cerulean Blues' ominous laugh
Her tears glittered and Shone
Like a bleached solemn white of a dismembered bone
The clouds are heavy with her grief and mine
oh, how her soul was filtered Starshine
silence echoes like icy gray rain
She's now gone
Pain, pain, pain
seeps into me, a mosaic of a shattered soul
never to be the same
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Comments
WOW!! BRITTANY!!.... this was a such a compelling read..... ignited my minds eye from the very first line...... using colors to create a feel of consistency throughout is a VERY clever idea...... and to choose the right colors to help convey the tragic aspect of your intent was even better....... you're a VERY gifted writer.....I haven't read you before but I'm guessing you're a young lady (20's - 30's) and if that's true.... then I honestly believe you have something special beyond even your own imagining!!...... just sayin'!!......that aside!!...... excellent word choices creating VERY powerful phrasing that translate into imagery that TOTALLY conveys the tragic beautifully!!......ALL STARS!!...... well done dear poet sister........LOVE & ROCKETS!!......T xo ?✴❤
Ps. WELCOME to COSMO!!
Tony, thank you so much!! I'd actually started working on that many years ago and I never finished it. I did start it in my twenties and I'm 39 now. I wrote it from the vantage point of myself looking at my own suicide. I really appreciate everything you said :)
Great wrire Perez, welcome to Cosmofunnel. warm regards.
Bring on more. Lovely write
Really cool write Brittany. Congrats and good luck. TerryKay
Thank you
Beautiful writing, Brittany.
Dark, and mysterious, and painful.
Great job.
Matthew.
Thank you