Spinning mind

My head spins, 
A win I shall lose. 

My feelings hung from the rafters, 

Aided by a noose. 

There's blood on my hands, 

You just can't see it. 

I'm a murderer, 

To that I admit. 

Not of people, 

It's debatable whether it's worse. 

A killer of emotions, 

I mean, what are they worth. 

Nothing if you ask me, 

Mere chemical reactions. 

I don't smile for me, 

It's to fill your satisfaction. 

You want me to socialize? 

A quick hello should suffice.

The migraines have come back, 

My mind crushed in a vice. 

'You're unsociable', 

Don't get me started. 

Now you make me laugh, 

My mind will always be uncharted. 

I won't allow it to be explored, 

Won't be questioned. 

Then again, I am a hypocrite, 

I don't learn my lesson.

So don't ask me to tell you, 

Because it won't come loose. 

My feelings are hung from the rafters, 

Aided by a noose