Still Counting…

Comfort in the noise, 
I truly find poise.
Acquainted since a boy, 
Still their favorite toy.
Discomfort felt in silence, 
I cannot truly enjoy it.
Acquainted with their ways,
they plot on the calm days.

Forever a struggle,
Forever I stay humbled.
Never free since introduced, 
Constant temptation produced.
Voices within my head,
Visions as I sleep in bed. 
A challenge to say the least, 
When battling the beast.

Why me I ask looking back, 
Since my first youthful attack.
Before I was young and pure, 
Now I feel there’s no cure.
Was my spirit previously bad, 
Is that why I was raised mad?
Does God love me the least, 
Forever will I be the Devil’s feast?