Strange Waters
Reflection by the fire
Starts off helpless, Just give it a chance, Hope you enjoy.
These damn bricks
They never crumble
And as I slam and kick
With all my might
All I`m doing is hurting myself
Can`t you see I`m trying to help?
Can`t you learn that it`s for myself?
That I change your life,
For better and not worse
And fate wants me to fail,
Like so many others,
To step the line,
Well, thatβs already happened.Β
But I can still step back,
But I have locked the pearly white gates,
Forever and ever,
As temptation took the reigns.
Snap
My mind is slipping back into gear,
Dreams that were so near,
But they slipped away like grains for sand,
Dust in the wind, crap hit the fan.
Crackle.
And the door is open,
I can see it more clearly.
The bigger picture,
Above the ceiling.
Past the trees,
And into the sky.
Silence the noise.
Turn off the Lights.
Shhh
And the businesses becomes emptiness.
The music becomes irrelevant.
The messages they bleed,
And the dreamer they dream.
I hear you
If we could only start again.
From the stages first scene.
Last straw. Gone now.
The Fish of the Sea.
Β
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Comments
Wow FISH!!......I read this three times through.....then I read it with the SWIF7 song playing in the background.......my apologies dear poet brother......Try as I may I'm not quite sure of your poetic intent here......there are certainly some consistencies in the phrasing that lead me to believe this is some sort of life lesson.....please help me feel less incompetent by giving me some full disclosure here!!.....I must admit this is the VERY FIRST poem I've been unable to comprehend on Cosmo!!......anyway, I'm fascinated.....please hit me back!!.......LOVE & ROCKETS!!.......T xoΒ : )
Yeah sorry Tony, I must admit this one was layered quite deep under analogy. The first part before the snapΒ relates to the guilt I feel in some of my younger years in a relationship... may bring up a confession poem eventually for me, basically, it has to do with exploitation. However, the brick metaphor has to do with the same person not opening up or letting me help her.
After the snap, it zones back into the present and why thinking about all my worries is so pointless, then I let go and my soul flyes into the night sky...Β
Felt a bit spiritual to me, it's very personal. I hope that helps, but the italics refer to the sound of a fire...
Yeah, my brain wad filled with different thoughts, writing at night doesn't help. But its really open to interpretation too, so make of it what you will!Β
Thanks for reading and leaving a comment,Β
Glad to be the first in something XD
Best wishes to you
The Fish of the Sea.
I SEE!!...isn't the poetic such a fine outlet for personal self-expression?.....I mean there is NO way I could have gotten close to this poems true intent without you holding my hand.....and now....I completely see your motivation and its fruition!!.....Thanx so much for letting me in!!......LOVE & ROCKETS!!.....T xoΒ : )
Aww no problem Tony XD, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Best wishes. TFOTSΒ
Thanks for the Stars Lorris~ Means so much
you are the Fish of the Sea...you write good stuff....the most popular here on Cosmo...all the best
Awww, I`m touched Lorris, but I could never write a love poem like you~Β Best Wishes to you! The Fish of the Sea
I love you work Fish and the object of poetry is different interpretations by others. I read it as a struggle in life and life lessons but that is me...
Aww thanks, Lisa and so very true, this one was definitely open to interpretation! But isn't all art like that ;)? Thanks for your kind comment, gave me an idea to edit Tony's comment. I`m glad it meant something to you. Best wishes and G`day from Aus. The Fish of the Sea.
Last straw , gone now. Powerful stuff. Great acceptance.Β
Thanks, Liliana, really a jumble of thoughts, Glad you liked it though, your comments always mean so much. Best wishes to you. G`day from Aus. TFOTS
All soul and more soul this write. It exudeds emotion and that is all I ask from a work...fab write my friend π
Awww thanks Marion, it was very emotional for me to write... I'm glad you liked it though ;). Best wishes to you. TFOTSΒ
FOTS
your explanation of your write was quite amazing, the thought and metaphors really hit home WOW keep it up πππ
Thanks Keith, I can understand that my work is not always black and white or really simple to pin point. It means so much that you took the time to leave your comment, thanks so much. I'm glad you liked my work. Best wishes to you and G'day from Aus. TFOTSΒ
I love to read other writes and I find inspiration from all on cosmo, I just wish I had time enuf to read them allΒ
Awww no fuss Keith, I can't even read them all, no matter how hard I try, besides I have come to learn that quality comments are better over lots of vague and general ones. Kind regards and best wishes to you. TFOTSΒ
I have to say I love the deepness of this poem and completely get your meaning. Beautifully crafted
Wow! Thanks so much James, to be honest I never expected you to comment ;) thanks so much though they are always really appreciated. I'm glad you liked my work. Best wishes to you. G'day from Aus. TFOTSΒ
Wow Fish! What a rollercoaster of a magnificent piece! I love the break up in verse with snap, crackle....then sshhh...thought it was gona be a pop!!
Love it that you even got to rhyme fish in the sea at the end! Fab arrangement and emotions pouring. Just loved it. Pxπ
Awww thanks so much, Pratibha. I`m glad you picked that up! Wanted to quieten the poem before the end with the wind... I`m really glad you liked it though, it means so much, thank you for your touching words also~ Best wishes to you and G`day from Aus. TFOTS
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Australia! Never been would love to go!