Suicidal Drunk

Sometimes i wish I could turn back the hands of time.
Dont know who i am anymore, not even these hands of mine.
Got idle hands Im fine, im fine
My heart wants to find God but my hands want a bottle.
That dont ease the pain, just makes me think about it more.
Pouring my feelings out to a wall. 
At least it listens and wont judge.
I shouldve stopped drinking by now but my hand wont budge. 
The devil must be holding a grudge. 
Okay you win, then i cocked back my 38 snub...