Take the Pain Away

Lately my thoughts I’ve struggled to find
Hidden away inside my entangled mind
Once a soul innocent and pure
Became lost in this world of only chaos and war
Now my memories are nothing but nightmares
Where my children look at me with saddened tear filled stares
When the silence begins to peak
A distraction is the only thing I seek
So the lighter strikes against the icy glass
I never knew everything would happen so fast
Another flick lights up my eyes
Suffocating the pain and everything slowly dies
Remembering all those horrible things I used to say
Now I’m going through life exactly the same way
I’m losing everything within my sight
A battle I’m trying to win but I don’t know how to fight
A mistake I never should have made
This guilt upon my conscience will never fade
I should’ve thought about all the danger
Now in the mirror I see nothing but a familiar stranger
My soul is so lost I’m unsure if I’ll be able to find
Locked away in this mess leaving no trace behind
I’m terrified to face my reality
All of this pain was caused by me
My family was never supposed to be torn apart
Full of remorse I don’t know where to begin to start
I wish I could take everything back
Or start anew with nothing to lack
The quietness again starts to show its dark face
Taunting me with just one more taste
Just enough to numb the pain
Leaving everything to lose and nothing to gain
But sitting here alone on this bathroom floor
My endless sobbing can be heard far beyond this closed door
Feeling as though I’m nothing but a failure at life
While everything I’ve ever done cuts deeply through me like a knife
I place my lips upon the glass
Cold and hard like a devil statue made of brass
The calming flickering of the burning flame
I think of how I used to be now look at all I’ve became
Deeply inhaling the rolling cloud of grey
I exhale and everything begins to slowly fade away