Terms and conditions apply

There is no guarantee that you will stay with me,
I must ensure that I handle everything carefully,
God is not responsible for unforseen circumstances,
although he invented them, to watch as time dances.

You will not be covered for accidental damage,
make sure that you're both on the same page,
If you don't believe in God - there can't be an 'act,'
a natural phenomenon becomes unnatural - you're sacked.

Of course, your major parts will be insured - okay,
but we'll keep them private, you won't have to pay,
in the event of a total breakdown, we will replace:
your figure, your body, your mind and your face.

Former employees will be out of their leagues,
nor allowed to return to shoot the balls off their colleagues.