The Awakening

Sometimes…sometimes
I see outside the box, briefly
Expand my peripheral vision
Perhaps I live my life
As in a tunnel:
On auto- pilot,
Afraid of making a decision.

I don’t take the initiative
Very much:
It’s not really in my nature to
Sleep, work, home, eat.
Seeing life primarily
As a source of stress:
Problems I need to cater to.

There’s so much opportunity
Though I find it hard
To see this in life.
Marriage, managerial positions:
But I lack confidence.
It’s more than that-
There is something that I

Find difficult to grasp.
My life is passing
And I’m still clinging.
I don’t know what to do.
Mostly…mostly
I can’t see outside the box.
Alarm bells are ringing.

So I let things wash over me
Living half- contentedly
And half- discontentedly
Often thinking.
Often questioning
What is it that
I’m meant to be?

What do others have?
What do others see?
Is it all hidden from me?
Or- can I just not see it?
Grasp it?
It really is quite strange
For me.

Perhaps one day I’ll understand
What I need to do.
Find a good job.  Get married
Become much more dynamic
And in my life
And through time
Not simply expect to be carried.

MDC