The Chiggers Chewed Me Out
                  A Very Private Story
.
When I was a lad of eleven, on a twilight Summer’s eve;
I sat down on the lawn to rest a bit, what happened next you won’t believe!
I must have been on a chigger nest, and they weren’t real happy with me;
They sent an army out for their revenge, in the worst place it could be!
.
I guess you figured out by now, that my testicles were their prey;
They crept right into my underwear, while on their home I lay!
They were so adept at their sneak attack, that I never felt one bite;
But later when I went to bed, I scratched my balls all night!
.
In the morning I was going crazy, with the burning and the itch;
So embarrassed I had to show my Mother, but it went off without a hitch!
She took me to the Doctor, again I had to drop my drawers;
He prescribed for me some medicine, said “In a few days, you’ll scratch no more”!
.
But until it could finish with the healing, I looked like a real weird kid;
For I kept my hand down by my zipper, so the discomfort I could rid!
My Mom called a pest control man, to take care of the chigger mites;
You’ve never really suffered, until your privates get chigger bites!
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Comments
Hi Larry, I listen to Sea Sick Steve. I don't know if you've heard of him, he's a blues singer from the American deep douth and he has a song about chiggers. I believe it's self titled. Good song it should be on YouTube to listen to. Apparently as the song says you also have to boil wash you're clothes. They sound horrible, glad we don't have them in England - Syd
Hi Syd,
I'm going to have to listen to that song by Sea Sick Steve. Â Thanks for your funny response. Â I've written a limerick in it's answer.
If one gets bitten on privates by chiggers
The best medicine is to drink several jiggers
They will put you to sleep
The pain will then keep
And your balls will fail to get bigger
Peace and Love,
Larry xxx
Larry, my dear (unfortunate) friend...
private invasions
public humiliations
...commiserations
your friend & fan,
J ;)
My Dear Friend Jason,
My balls on their court
Did not see the "Keep Out" sign
Bitten by the bugs
Peace and Love,
Larry xxx
Â
Ah...my dear Larry,
entomology
is as confusing as the
etymology
your friend & fan,
J ;)
My Dear Friend Jason,
Insects around us
Befuddle our human brains
For definition
Peace and Love,
Larry xxx
Lol.... This made me laugh real good....I can imagine the discomfort and embarrassment....love your sense of humor Sweet Daddio
Love you
My Dear Sweet Rose,
Linda laughed a lot when she read it too. Â I guess I can now, but back then, it was no laughing matter. Â When I wrote this a few days ago, I was "itching" to put on a humorous work.
Love you too,
Daddio xxx
Hi Larry, I found this poem on facebook. Â My brother who is retired from army, but still works as civilian for army in Germany posted your poem on facebook. Â We got a kick out of it. Â Too true, but funny. Â The way he came upon your poem was when he posted a picture of a flag half mast for the fallen Marines in the plane wreck and it said we should give a tribute to these fallen soldiers. Â I commented back to him about your poem that did give a tribute to them and told him where to find it on cosmofunnel. Â He must have read more of your poems because he then posted your chiggers poem on facebook. Â Enjoyed. ooh, sorry, I know that experience was not enjoyable. Too funny.Â
My Dear Shirley,
I am so honored that you and your brother got a kick out of my poem. Â So much better, than getting the itch that I did. Â It is amazing to me, how the three of us connected, with your brother's and my tributes to the fallen Heroes, and how you guided him to me. Â I felt from the moment that you and I came into contact on Cosmo, Â I had met a poetic soulmate. Â Read on today, because your latest poem, "The War In My Mind" has moved me deeply, and I think you will be quite happy with it's repercussions.
Hugs, Peace and Love,
Larry xxx