The day my world stopped

Today marks a year,
A whole year since my world stopped spinning,
They say that pain is temporary,
But this dull ache still lingers in the pit of my stomach,
I still remember the day I found out,
Looking at the doctor puzzled as he asked me how I felt about it,
Unable to process the information he had just given me,
My mothers face dropped when I told her I could no longer live the life she had dreamed of,
My grandma looked at me in shock, unable to give out any emotion,
The weeks seemed to drag by,
One hospital appointment after the other,
I felt different in myself,
I'd cry over the shop not having my favourite chocolate bar in,
Or my hair just not going right,
But I'd rather go through all that again if it ment this never happening,
October 11th,
The pain,
I spent all day hunched over the toilet,
Clinging to my stomach,
Afraid to move,
The hospital told me there was nothing to worry about,
That everything was fine,
I'd give anything to go back and tell them they were wrong,
I didn't sleep all night,
Tossing and turning and the pains came and went,
When daylight broke I knew something was wrong,
So I called them again,
The ambulance guy must have known,
He sat there and comforted me,
Spoke to me to distract me,
Encouraging me to use the gas and air,
When I arrived at the hospital I was greeted with endless amounts awkward smiles,
From one room to another,
No one told me a thing,
Then it was time for an examination,
This was the moment my heart stopped,
"I'm sorry for your loss" she held my hands as I fought back the tears,
I couldn't think,
All that was running through my head was why?
Why me?
They kept me in for a few hours to monitor my bleeding,
Surely there was no cure for this,
I had gone from planning a life to planning a funeral,
Today marks a year,
Another day filled with nothing

Eevee griffin, you were far to perfect for this world.