The Depths of Life's Great Lake

I sat upon the banks of life's great lake
Gazing over the turbulent waters with a wandering mind
Below the beautiful sun
Far underneath the glittering waves
Therein those depths lies an inky darkness 

I wondered what the chill felt like
I questioned why all the people wanted to struggle in the sun
Instead of sinking into the calm abyss
So I dove in past all of the cliché actions

The blackness carried sorrow
It carried pain, hurt, misery, anguish, and agony
It was cold, unforgiving, tight, relentless... But it was numbing
In those crushing depths I found the deepest scar I created was myself

I found the broken
The lost and damned
The forsaken
I suddenly realized those that were down here
Once struggled upon the surface too
They merely lost the will to carry on

As I lay numb in the bottom of life's great lake
I understand I can not swim back to the top
In my journey to find the answers of pain and heartache
I lost myself to the undertow

I once sat upon the shores
Now I silently scream at the bottom
I had too much faith in myself
I dove too deeply
I loved too deeply
Now I do not know if I can repair the damage
I do not know if I can fix us
I do not know if I can fix myself.