Poem -

The Devil's Doll

The Devil's Doll

~The Devilโ€™s Doll~

~~~~~~~โ€ ~~~~~~~

We think we know where all souls goโ€“
to Heaven high, or Hell belowโ€“
lost loved ones, off to Edenโ€™s shore,
or demons, whoโ€™d like nothing more

ย 
to rip and rend flesh from our bones;
to make us scream, to mock our moans
of anguish, pain, the drain of lifeโ€”
away from God, in pain, so rife,

ย 
black blood boils beneath pale skin;
we know we canโ€™t go home again
to be with friends or family,
forever, in eternity.

ย 
I knew one boy who, rather young,
thought parents' rules were drab and dumb.
He never listened to a word,
and all the good advice heโ€™d heard

ย 
fell by the waysideโ€”lost, ignored.
A restless lad, so very bored
with life, his schoolโ€”his pets, his friends
โ€ฆbut here is where his story ends.

ย 
As disrespectful as he was,
his family loved him still, because,
he was their son, their boy, their all;
he had their backs against the wall.

ย 
One moonlit night, I stayed with him,
I heard a groaning from within
the bedroom where we always slept.
In moonbeamโ€™s glow, I slowly crept

ย 
oโ€™er to the spot those horrid sounds
were coming from, and what I found,
sent shivers up and down my spine!
My heartbeat thumpedโ€”I heard a whine.

ย 
For there, upon the wooden floor,
sat something now not there before.
To my stark horror, shocked surprise,
a doll stared back with my friendโ€™s eyes.

ย 
There is a lesson to be learned,
when wise advice is shunned or spurned,
should Satan come to maim and maul;
you too become the Devilโ€™s Doll.

~~~~~~~โ€ ~~~~~~~

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Comments

author
Halo Pain

very dark, well put together.
a gripping read.

Reply
author
Dean Kuch

Thanks for the R & R, HP.
~Dean

Reply
author
Dean Kuch

Thank you very much for reading, Lisa.
Take care...
~Dean

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author
Fucc Face

This is a well formatted poem. Phyrexian Unlife as well is good in the modern format of the card game Magic: The Gathering, especially considering ad nauseum is one of my favorite decks right now (Phyrexian Unlife is the name of a card in this game and it's also the picture you used for this poem).

Reply
author
Dean Kuch

Yes, the illustration is by Jason Chan, Devan.
I appreciate your R & R.
Take care,
~Dean

Reply
author
Dean Kuch

Thanks so much for reading, Leah. I deeply appreciate your feedback.
Warmest wishes!
~Deanย  :}

Reply
author
WormTendon

This is absolutely chilling. ย I see you're a very polished poet. ย I'll try to comment in the same manner that you provide while recognizing you've got a great deal more experience and that my opinion, is just that.

"Black blood boils beneath pale skin" was the most powerful line for me. ย This crosses beyond barriers of speech and paint a picture that evokes the intended emotion, while also having sub textual meaning for the reader to interpret according to their own understandings whim.

The only critique I could come up with is in "my heartbeat ceased, as did all time" I felt the flow fumbled slightly on the word "all" and would possibly have chosen simply "as did time".

Was the intent to imply in a very subtle way exactly what "sin" the friend committed which led to his demise?

Reply
author
Dean Kuch

Thank you not just for reading, WormTendon, but for pointing out what you liked and didn't like as well. That is exactly the sort of input and feedback I need to improve.
I will look into that line to see if I can improve upon it in some way.
As for your query, think of "Little Orphant Annie" by James Whitcomb Riley, (1849 - 1916) concerning the message my own poem is attempting to convey.
"Anโ€™ the Gobble-unsโ€™ll git you if ya' Donโ€™t Watch Out!"
If you're unfamiliar with the poem, cut and paste the link provided below in your search engine's browser to hear it.
Thanks so much again!
~Dean
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z03zt9lriR0

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