The doll- a journey threw a twisted mind (part one)

its a grey wasteland 
i can hear the sound
like a frequency 
getting louder and louder
i see dresses 
tattered and worn
from small pink ones to yellow ones just my size
i look around 
i touch one of the small pink dresses
and it tears
its like a cloth turned to paper
not even paper
more like
kinetic sand
sewn together
huh
how odd
but that can't be the oddest thing here
but the questions where is here?
well its all over the place
scattered
not so..complete
it feel that if walk into the distance 
i might fall over an edge
but i'm curious
so i walk forward

"i love you"
        who said that?
                                                    "please­ don't leave me"
go away
                  " why did you leave me"
                                                             ­                                 you forced me to
                                            "get away from me"
      i promised i would fix you
                                                             ­ "i hate you"
i still love you
                              "i love you"
                                                          i want to break you
           "you belong only to me"
                                                             ­                    your so fun to play with
                       "i love you so much"
                                          my precious little doll
  "you lied to me"
                                                             ­                it was fun while it lasted
                    "i hate you"
i know
i hate me to
but to be honest
i'd do it again
only i'd get permanate results
my wilted rose i miss you
i stare at the pale porcelain doll, as it catches to fire
the cracks in her porcelain skin are more apparent
i knew she was broken 
it burns to ashes
ashes as black as that hair of hers
i don't want to believe she's gone

i run
in the haze of it all i run
and as i run
i can hear myself scream
but my mouth is closed

"you could've done better!"
i know thats true

and i turn around just for a split second
to see the doll once more,
only the porcelain skin is perfect and smooth
her hair...that black doll like hair to match those giant brown eyes with those dark purple circles under them 
a dark brown

i hate looking at her
she's no longer able to become perfect like i had wished
but at least she isn't just ashes

what a waste