The era of his ways

Flash backs to when I was younger 
With comments scribbled on a book I owned, 
The smell of the chalk,false innocent knowledge 
Now feels as if a love in my heart was only loaned, 
No plans for the future,only the one in my life
My future was foggy,but our futures laid out, 
Remembering the desk teacher & uniform 
Open windows,no adults & a hum grows to a shout, 
So eager to leave, to the big world outside 
​​​​​Looking back I'd give anything to start there again, 
​​​​​​Look at it differently,planning those stepping stones
After school, you left me & I was with the pain, 
All the innocent years, I gladly recall now
Locked away,somewhere in the corner of my mind,
Should of played it differently then,easy to say now
Realising the world is ugly, & peace I had to find, 
I have no children in my life to guide & love
A full circle, a love child was I, & then, 
The sense of no belonging,a difference, a spirit 
The memories are all I have of a time when, 
I realise school was a time,of creation & light
The note you left in my school book, was it all, 
The love you said you had,was of course, a limited one
But one day my hell will end & darkness will call. 

(its okay thats deeeep)