the fool of the court

In the hierarchy of the sick 
I barely classify as a footsoldier

I look to the girls who’ve become human calculators
The math equations to count their calories 
Set as ratios for easy reference
They are queens

They are strong
Their will of steel causing envy
No temptation will draw them
Nothing less than the devil at their door

I look to the girls who’ve become doctors
Knowing the digestive system timed to the minute
They have tips and tricks for the best way to rid their shame
They are knights

They are confident
The running water to block the noise
The dedication and determination to never falter in their task
It’s admirable 

And then the fool
Who’s not “sick enough” to be welcomed into the court
Who must watch on the side lines
Wishing it were them

The fool tried once 
But she didn’t have the 
Strength of the queen
The fool tried a second time
But she didn’t have 
Bravery of the knights

Holding ice cubes to her wrists 
As punishment
Since the fool was even too cowardly 
To see her penance through

“You are what you eat”
But was she too much? 
Or not enough?