The last glimmer

It's in shimmering dim-dusk that my glimmers become
 winds.
    dust.

Howling sands batter my eye crust
As I waken
  To the hearts
      Lust
         For lacking love

Where I want rivers to run
        Is where the thirsty lay
In that dusty bay
Parched throats pounding out weak   .  gasping 
       coughs
Ragged from speaking to unhearing ears
Uncommitted for fears that they shall tear up
Falling speechless 
Like hearts fall out faltering beats
Faltering
      Faltering
Faltering
Stumbling
Trying to find veins to pump through.
Trying to find hands to pump to. 
Skipping half their beat
As strained lines
Struggle to contain them
Edges Strain
Under The unique pain
Of collapsed veins
Filling up with blood again
Like dust in the eyes as you wake from a coma
There is romance to this type of pain
A life to it
Until you find your limbs dead
And your life gone
No ugly duckling swan
Fall back into bed. 

Fall back forgotten
20 years wasted alone in your head
And you wonder why you even bothered to come back
Fall back into river beds
That it's easy to dream are flowing
Cascading like life over smooth stones
No longer feeling your bruised bones
You soar over the falls
And whilst you hung
In free fall
You couldn't find a reason to pull your parachute
When cascading rivers would batter it harder than any wind could lift it
You couldn't find a reason

You couldn't find

A reason
To wake up
And to hear me