The letter I wrote to Jennifer (uneddited) 2

I can't stand to stay away, I wish to be with you, my heart thrives and thirsts for your touch, your voice, your love, it wishes to hold you, kiss you, care for you, I'm missing you like crazy right now, everything inside of me yells out go for it and kiss you, the bright side of me sais wait and give you space, hearing those words dumped, makes me think of trump, hating myself, for my heart is broke, pieces scattered throughout the floor, blood dripping from my chest, and now lying empty, it was drained, now just a hollow pit, I won't give in, I won't let you win, I won't let you see me in pain, I won't let you see me cry, I won't, because I'm strong, I was told to never show fear, but right now that's all I feel, that's all I am, is a sad sap, wishing to be planted, and grow, baby I won't keep bothering you, I know you wish to be alone, you wish for another man, for someone else, more handsome, more smart, more athletic, but I promise I can change, I can be the one you always wanted, everything iv done so far has been for you, I know Jasmine doesn't like it but, I don't care about her, she wishes to split us up for good, but I won't let her have that benefit of the doubt, I will stay in love with you, I made a promise to fall for one and love her with my all, and no one else to never cheat or betray, and I choose you, I had my choices, I had my others, but through them all I picked you, please don't keep me apart, I yearn to be with you, I wish to hold you and please you, perhaps it's because if the lack of love within myself,
I know I have trouble with me, but I promise I will learn to love myself more, to practice and be more confident, il move with you, il find a way, just don't leave me here, il run away, to hold your hand, I just wish to not lose you, you are my life, my every thing, I can't live without you, do you even have a clue what you mean to me? Your my most favorite thing ever! No money in the world can amount to what you mean to me, forget the world, and me and you can have a new start, make new friends, start a life with new people, and get away from stress, and stop all the gossip, baby il keep you safe and buy you everything, money means nothing to me when I'm with you, but if money is what you care for il get a job, it will be hard but, I will get a job at state wide waterproofing and give you every penny, il give you all my things, forget electronics your the only entertainment I need, forget my dreams and wishes of being a writer, your my new dream, your my every wish, please Jennifer Thomas, except my apology,
For I know I'm stupid, I know I'm Imperfict, and not the most attractive man out there, just think of the first kiss, think of how special it was, remember the dance, when we were at school, when I held you in my arms to keep you warm, try to remember when you used to come over a lot and we'd spend ours sitting together under that tree, and we held hands and hugged, all those great times, we're just the begining, I don't want them to be the end, I don't want us to end, I need this not to end, I don't want you, I need you babe, this is my way of saying....
Please take me back, I'm at the verge of tears, I can't bare not holding your hand,I'd never live with myself if you disappeared, I care and love you, in every shape and form, my heart can't take any more pain, it took me years to get over losing HJ,
Just think if how long it would take for me to get over you? 
I don't think I'd ever get over you, forever I'd regret never taking you back, just letting you go isn't a choice, iv seen the future, and your in it, and I don't wish to change that future, I only wish to make it better, I love you, my darling, please.... 
Write me back, the second you get a chance...