The Perversity Of Inanimate Objects

How many times have we tried to open something,
and it sticks, can only think the chinese are pricks;
how could they do that to wet wipes when it sticks,
must be cussed, particularly when no boxes ticks.

Dispensers, even ffrom Marks and Spencers mystery,
sanitary bottles, perfumes, have a mind of their own;
it's easy, oh yeh, where instructions for my mobile phone?
Let me speak to the compiler and I'll sure pick a bone.

They say 'open here,' but then turns out not to be there,
we rush for the knife but end up giving it to the wife;
perhps we should have an open uni to sort this out,
or a trip to the far east really before I start to shout.

Then they actually bite you for the final act of perversity,
for godssake they should have warned me at university.