The Time We Never Spent...

This dada apologizes for injure
ring your tender kin
dolled innocent girlhood,
(ex post facto probably
to little tool hate)
thus this father's lament,
hoops words can caught her

eyes, sans estrangement from
thee mine eldest daughter,
asper countless times,
this papa acted
like a roguish cur,
now those accidental,
and/or purposeful misdeeds

digs like a figurative burr
and/or digging deeper
thorn in me side - arg...
as the years spin by,
asper inflicting unintended
psychological pain inducing

yours truly (me) to cry
the beloved "star student,"
most likely taking mine
(hurt lock hard suffering),
til I breathe one
last breath...and then die,
hence reason for this poem

to let mine soul fly
free, (the closest approximation,
viz this atheistic guy)
aware at the necessity
to expunge self devouring
(i.e. cannibalistic) beast - hie
engendered, which

sacrilegious paternity
cannot be reversed,
yet only thee
can consonant avow
wool to admit culpability,
humility, and magnanimity,
thus this opportunity, I cow

whir with unbeknownst
divination, persistent hesitation,
and knottiest lamentation how
so much, your
life times worth of
unpleasantness (which telling,
would entail voluminous writing),

hence a poem for now
aware at the heft and pow
whir of written words,
which intent may not wow
thee atoll, nonetheless
rather than detail
every single instance,

where ye did feel
extreme friggin grief,
perhaps which pain
you will never heal,
tis necessary for this
father to profess guilt -
not so much

taking a knee and kneel
ling, attest cognizance how
my choices, indiscretions,
and recklessness
did comfortably seal,
sans posturepedic,
and seriously unveil

fatalistic, narcissistic,
and pathetic lifestyle blight
such as being unemployed,
and for a decade
lived in Penn Valley,
a most fright
full and appalling utter

grossness, where these
opened eyes shed light
on a deplorable, despicable,
and detestable offal
housekeeping, where even
critters (such as mice)
came out at night

wearing miniature gas masks,
and also donned with
teensy weensy, itty bitty
oxygen tanks, when scurrying
amidst horrible unlivable sight

oh...this juiced smidgen of hell
imposed on Eden Liat
(as well Shana Aubrey),
and mooch more could I write!