THE TWIT CLUB IS HERE AGAIN FOLKS!

I wish that Him Indoors worked like a computer...! Even though the silly sod gets a lot of input... he`s still bloody clueless!!

He looked nice... till the morning after!

He`ll do as he`s told... when I push the right buttons!

In order to get his undivided attention you have to turn him on first... but a big power surge just knocks him out for the rest of the bloody night!!

At first I thought my man was going to be just like a fine wine... he started out sweet like a grape... but it turned out that I had to wait untill he matured into something I`d like to have for dinner!!

Him Indoors and his mate were talking over a couple of pints in the pub one night. His mate mentioned the amount of control he has in the bedroom! He asked Him Indoors... " Well what about your wife? "  Him Indoors blushed and whispered... " Well the other night she came to me on her hands and knees! " His mate was amazed and asked..." What happened then? " " She yelled at me again and told me to get out from under the bloody bed and fight like a bloody man! "

Last night Him Indoors suddenly started calling my name and gasping for breath!! I didn`t hold the bloody pillow down on his silly bloody face long enough!!!

Why Him Indoors likes a smart woman! Because opposites always attract...obviously!!

What`s the smartest bloody thing Him Indoors has ever said to his mate? " My wife says.... "

Why does it take a 100 million sperm to fertilize an egg? Because not one of the silly bloody twits will read their instructions first!!

Why did Gods` teacher advise him that he should first try to make a really simple rough working model of the human species?...Man! That answer`s a bloody easy one folks!... It was so that he could then design the perfect human!... Woman!!!

Of course women are nothing like men! Women always get everything right the first time!!!

Him Indoors went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day.... but the silly sod couldn`t bloody see any of them!

G xx