The Voice

She could feel the world caving in 
As she stood on the edge of the balcony
Waiting, for some outside force to push her 
Help her make the decision that she couldn’t make
Make her take that leap of faith
Help her possibly find an escape 
From this world where she doesn’t belong 
Or at least that’s what she thinks
Wherever she goes
Whatever she does
There’s always self doubt

Whenever she looks in the mirror
There’s a voice that goes 
“Did you gain weight?” 
“You look so fat” 
And then the cycle begins once again
The restricting of food 
Chewing gum becoming her saviour from the starvation 
The weighing scale becoming her reassurance 
As she sees the weight drop
Week by week 

Whenever she gets a bad grade 
The self doubt comes creeping in 
“Am I worthless?” 
“ Will mom and dad be disappointed?”
She knows everyone loves her for the way she is 
But it's the damn voice in her head that she needs the love from 
It's the voice that she needs validation from 
It’s euphoric to hear that voice say 
“You look better now” 
“Yeah, you look like you’ve lost weight” 
Or when after countless all nighters 
And the prominent stains of coffee on her desk 
She finally gets that one 100 
The voice says 
“Mom and Dad are now going to be proud of you” 
“Just do this everyday and that will be success” 
Countless times
She tried to stop that voice 
Countless times 
She tried to shut it down 
But it somehow always finds a way in her life 
So is it so wrong 
That she prays to never see the light of day 
That everyday she holds a knife in one hand and a bleeding bandage in the other 
Is it so wrong 
That she wants it all to end 
Because she knows 
Even after the countless diets 
The numerous all nighters 
That voice isn’t going anywhere 
It will always be there 
Lurking in the dark 
So is it so wrong 
That she does take the leap 
And feel free for once?