THE WORDS I HAVN’T READ TO AN AUDIENCE YET

I just wanted to say thank you, thank you very much for listening
Your attention to my words shines to me like a precious gem glistening
I didn’t know where else to go or where else to turn
To try to motivate me to complete my project, and enjoy the sense of satisfaction that I yearn
The incessant chatter of all the different voices in my head, I just can’t seem to ignore em
I just wanted to discuss my project with someone but you need a poem in this forum, I am very nervous that I will anger or annoy em or at the very least just bore em with my indifferent social decorum
I’m usually very confident at public speaking but this time is set apart
Because I’m usually talking with my head, this time is different, I am communicating with my heart
My life has been full of suffering, I have been surrounded by misery and death
I technically died in hospital myself, and not long ago I watched my best friend take his last breath
I have lost so many friends to death over the years and my wife and I even lost a child
Ive tried so hard to be the standard plant in the pot, when I’m really poison ivy growing wild
I suffer from multiple severe addictions and struggle with several cases of mental illness
My brain endures great activity and movement, and I just want it to experience stillness
So I feel that completing this project will allow me to heal
And hopefully start the trend of beginning to feel real
I have never ever been involved in literature or the arts I have been nationally ranked in sports
Poetry and literal creativity aren’t associated with the sportsman’s daily thoughts
I don’t want to hurt anyone or relish in notoriety
I want to embrace sobriety and contribute meaningfully to society
My project is very complicated and is designed to evoke emotion
And I’ve taken it on willingly with financially broke devotion
It is based around the 5 senses something no one else has ever ever done
I want it to be serious sometimes and sometimes I want it to be fun
I have created a clothing brand called twelve, why twelve? Because like you twelve is more than just a number
I want you to challenge status quo and awaken your thought and feeling from their slumber
Twelve signs of the zodiac, twelve months of the year
And we have a twelve hour clock that that would bring our sense of time to bear
Twleve amongst all numbers seems to stand out amongst all others
Just like you stand out to the ones that love you, friends, family, fathers, mothers, sisters and brothers
I am writing a book with 12 chapters with the acronym LIFE Look Inside For Enlightenment
And recording a music album with 12 songs titled LIFE Listen Inside For Enlightenment
Each of the 12 chapters in my book contains exactly 1200 words
I want the sentiment in each chapter to sing to people like songbirds
Not only is it exactly 1200 words long, every chapter rhymes
In an attempt to relate to people and assist them in their darkest times
At the start and end of each chapter is a further acronym of life
Looking Internally For Explanations is one example and it cuts inside like a knife
Each song on the album works with each chapter to delicately create a mood
To allow people self expression not to let things fester or to brood
I have started my clothing brand with headwear, because the head is where it starts
And if people like it I can extend it to cater for other body parts
I am not the worlds greatest singer but I will always try my best
And hopefully connect with people where they can take thoughts and feelings to digest
Some people will think its shit, some a flop, some a hit
But all I want to do is heal myself and stand tall with others to help the world a little bit
I am happy to share my progress if any of you are keen to follow
I will always be humble and modest and any vomiting of narcissism I will try hard to reswallow
I have long started my project and I will now go and continue on
I will welcome anyone and everyone to come with me and go where no one else has gone
I present stoic confidence but it’s the opposite below the surface
That’s why I need people to push me along, people like you give me the desired purpose
I just hope that I can do it and continue the alcohol and drug extraction
And continue my healing using my writing and creativity as a useful tool of distraction
Who knows you may never see me again and I am truly sorry for being a pest
But I am very sincere and genuine in thanking you for listening and I wish each and every one of all the very best