They Don't Understand

They tell me I look tired,

To get some rest,

But they don’t understand

The way my thoughts race

While I’m trying to sleep

Keeping me up all night.

They make jokes that sting

And ask why I’m so uptight,

But they don’t understand

That I fear everything

And the worrying doesn’t stop

But it’s out of my control.

They mock me

And my fake laugh,

But they don’t understand

That sometimes I’m so down

And my thoughts are so scary

That I use it to hide the pain

Because showing it

Would make them run.

They tell me that I’m too hyper

That I’m an annoyance

And I need to calm down,

But they don’t understand

That sometimes I reach highs

That I can’t control

But they’re easier to witness

Than the terrifying lows.

They say I need to worry less

And tell me to just relax,

But they don’t understand

That if it was that easy

I would be the calmest person

In the world

Because that is all I want.

They tell me my illness isn’t real

That it’s all in my head,

But they don’t understand

That mental illness

Is just as uncontrollable

And painfully fatal

As cancer.

They say I’m crazy

That I’m fucked up and weird,

But they don’t understand

What goes on in my head

And how much it hurts

To be misunderstood.