Those Pesky Pigs 🐷

Betwixt and between yon Oak, Sycamore, Lime and Larches

Herds of higgety piggety, hairy Hogs deafeningly charges

And lagging far behind them all, that Farmer Stan Smiths son swiftly marches

Now Stan Smith was away, with his wonderful wife Wilma, on a little holiday

And the very last thing that he said to his only son Samuel, before they went away

Was “Do not open the gates of the Pig pen Samuel, and everything else will be okay”

Well his good old Dad should have saved his breath, coz Samuel never ever listened to a single word he’d say

So luckily enough Sam’s old folks really didn’t have the foggiest of a clue

That their prized porky Pigs, were all out of that Pig pen, on a lazy, sunny afternoon rendezvous

And all of the local people that were sat in the pub, on the cobbles ot the corner, came out to watch this horrendous, hullaballoo

Where in the early Autumnal atmosphere, that clean, fresh air turned blue

Samuel was shouting and swearing, and his little face was beetroot red

Oh but if only he had listened to what his old wise, wrinkled Papa had said

As he was lying half asleep, with one eye open, in his ever so comfortable, kingsize Granny Agnus’s bed

Next door to his old folks big farmhouse, and five doors down from the dirty, dairy Cow shed

Well it was all thanks to the good Lord up above, when the neighbouring Farmer’s wife Wendy, came trotting along

Coz as soon as she heard the rude raucous and that terrible Stan Smith’s sons song

She jumped off Harriet her horse and she swiftly, hurried headstrong

Now as soon as she had rounded up all of those people from the ‘Ploughman’s’ publican house on that cobbled corner… those pesky Pigs were gone..

And without much more fuss and todo, many waving arms made such light work

Wendy from next doors farm always fancied her daughter’s chances at getting hitched up with young Samuel Smith, so lets say that this helping hand shenanigan was all just part of the perk!!

And to be quite perfectly honest with you, those pigs had just went totally and absolutely bonkers beserk!!!