Three Nursery Crime Bullies

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Once upon a Nursery Rhyme,
Long, long ago - another time - 
When the world was - just like you,
Not yet dead, and not still new; 
Then there lived three Bullies who
Bullied and battered and made blue,
All the children - all of the time -
Once upon a Nursery Crime ...

Oh Jack be nimble, Jack be quick,
Jack would attack with a candlestick,
And he was fast and he was fleet,
Could run a fox right off it's feet,
For he was the fastest on the street,
And not a chap you'd want to meet,
For he'd atack with his candlestick -
For Jack was simple, Jack was thick.

Little Jack Horner sat eating his pie,
He wasn't little but six feet high,
But he was dim and he was dumb,
And he would suck on one big thumb,
And with the other he'd make you numb,
Threatening to stick it up your bum,
To make you jump up six feet high,
As Little Jack Horner sat eating his pie.

Now thin Jack Sprat, could eat no fat,
So, much envied the opposite of that - 
For to anyone who could eat no lean, 
But had to eat fat, he was very mean,
He'd spit in their dinner, gobs of green,
And so he'd show his spite and spleen,
He was obscene - not the opposite of that - 
That thin Jack Sprat who could eat no fat.

SoRoL