In Time...

When I lost my son, I forgot all my goals

My heart withered inside, along with my soul.

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I felt certain there was no reason to live

An empty shell I'd become, nothing to give

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Each day seemed to haunt me with memories of past

Reminders how quickly life flies by, oh so fast

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I could not blame Jesus but someone must pay

So I blamed myself harshly, day after day

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Cause surely my mistakes were responsible for this

Had I done my job right, my son would exist

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He would be with us now, strong hands and big heart

His young adult life just getting its start

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Depression took root, came at a high cost

I'd nearly forgotten my girls also felt lost

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While I lost a son, they lost a brother

He was their protector, watched over each other

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No denial would change their brother was gone

Their lives must continue, learn how to move on

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My son's life was full of adventurous years

We should be rejoicing, not drowning in tears

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Now he's in heaven looking down from above

Keeping watch over us while sending his love

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"Don't cry for me, Mama", I can hear him say

"We all have 'a time' and it was my day".

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"You made no mistakes, there was nothing to halt

Stop blaming yourselves, this wasnt your fault".

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"Earthly eyes can not see what Christ has in store

His plan is a good one, for our family and more".

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"Dont let Satans sorrow clog up your vision

I'll always be with you, continue Gods mission"

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Although he was young, Josh was wise beyond years

He whispers to our hearts, helps calm all our fears

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I can't honestly say a day does'nt go by

I don't think of my son and ask again 'why'?

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Yet I know that in time, God will answer my question

When heavens gate opens and my name is mentioned

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Then together again, my son Joshua and me

Will together keep watch over our family tree

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Until that day comes, I keep him safe in my heart

and pray for his help, for a new life to start.