Tipping Point Version 1
Concept poem
Message or moral
Compass or Coral
Stand up and wait.
Words,
Through the oral
Translation - Â Just Lock the gate. Concentrate
Throw away the key
And bury the brain.
“If you don’t use it, you`ll lose it”
Cutting corners - constitution
Fuses
Short Fuses.
And figures trapped in thought.
Black mirrors addict the beautiful faces.
The People, the places.
I hate it
I hate it.
Not numbers.
Not profits.
Fading,
We`re fading.
Capture chaos
From tonight to forever.
Letter,
Love letter.
And caught in the mail
“He will prevail”,
“No, he will!” they trail.
Set sail,
Set sail.
For the grass is greener if all else fails.
What do I care?
Bulletproof. Chain mail to wear.
I fought the good fight.
But these scales.
Have to much to bare.
A trade-off.
Yep, that's fair...
I'd expect nothing less.
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Comments
I'm still thinking about this one Max...and that's always good isn't it. A trade off...that is clear but I'm not sure what the trade off is....happiness or morals in order to succeed? Or time spent with loved ones? I may have misread the entire intention of the work here...intriguing and we'll written my friend...enjoyed x
Hi Marion! I'd be happy to share my intention, more like a subtle, giving up trying to help a failing society, as is most of this write is about. I just really believe we are heading in the wrong direction at the moment. Our screens control our lives and our world feels devided.... although, we can always focus on the small good things I suppose. Really glad you enjoyed this one Marion, thank you for always being a close supporter to my work!Â
Yes...I get it and the work is all the better for my understanding...we all put our own meanings to what we read dont we but I was really interested in the intention here Max, totally agree also x
Thanks so much, Marion! And I love leaving my work open to that interpretation sometimes. This one really formed it out of thin air too, I hope to add and change up this write in the near future. Again, your comments truly mean so much.
Wow u taxing n turning my tipping pointed (pardon the pun) noggin n I totally luvit!!! Abfab my lil lovely Fishy of freedom ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks Jill! Thought I`d do a fast rant/rap for a change. Really glad you liked it!!
❤️💕❤️
My goodness Max you are packing punches in this one dear friend. I sensed your angst towards how society drives us, forcibly into situations and ideals which grate against our own morals and mindfulness.Â
It can feel like, no matter what we do. How much we take. It just feels endless and overwhelming. Despite how full proof our own personal beliefs are and strength. It can just feel like nothing givesÂ
well that’s my feelings and thoughts to this very thought provoking write. One I will muse on some more soonÂ
Your friendÂ
Gwen :)
Ah! Gwen XD, my intention exactly, to pack punches. And for this one, I`m afraid, my music was a big inspiration so already I was in acceptance of it not being the most poetically/phrasing motivated write XD. I know the music is not everyone's style (Especially on Cosmos), but it excites me and gives me confidence. I totally agree though, seems like we poets, are swimming in the opposite direction to the tide at the moment. The world is turning into a strange place. Though I hope not to write about society too much and especially not in my next write (Just too damn depressing). Labelled "Orange City", The beginning of a "Midnight afternoon" Saga for me! Super exciting. Sorry for being slightly off with my comments received to comments left ratio if you know what I mean XD, hope to catch up on all of Cosmos soon. But also, I`ll check up on our Collab corner soon! Hope you are well Gwen, really your comments mean a big deal to me. Thank you once again~
Hi fish, this piece reads like a rap metal song if may say so. Sorry I haven't listened to the audio as my wife is asleep on the couch opposite.Â
Anyway... I really enjoyed this write.
Take care - SydÂ
XD! Thanks, Syd, My intention exactly. I wanted to write something a little punchier, keep things fresh, rinse a repeat! I had fun writing this one, and I guess, in the end that's all that matters. Thanks so much for your comment! Also, I can tell you for sure you aren't missing much by not listening to the audio... I have... an interesting taste in music.
How unintentionally rude of me Fish. I commented but forgot to like and rate your poem. 5 stars.
- SydÂ
Ahh no problem Syd! Thank you so much for your rating! Really even just reading my work means the world to me. Truly, you are too kind~
Tangled lines of cunningly worded pose. cudos clever friend.
Like the personal touches of the heart.Â
Thanks so much Liliana! I try... sometimes more successful than other attempts... Glad you liked it my kind friendÂ
You are finding your voice, love the way you associate concepts/ideas/words. Keep at it
Thanks so much, John! And I`m glad you think so, these days I feel a bit lost in the weeds, my friend. Thank you for your support!
When lost, look for the Sun (to me i.e. Poetry) and you know the way out... I have been lost for some three months in the beginning of the year - check out the two poems I wrote then...
Glad you found the way back.
Thank you so much John and will do my friend! So sorry I haven't been active, one more comment to respond to them I'm back to reciprocating on Cosmos! Be back soon
No worries, mate. I myself do not have as much time too as I'd wish to have. My life could contain about 500% more Cosmo than it does... Hang in there and be cool
Â
I like this concept poem. IT has a rhythm to it kind of a cadence, the subtle
harmonies and sour notes and beautiful... sounds and emotions and situations that flow out in an ever changing stream.  We are a vibration, each of us has our own unique light and sound ..... we all contain the God source.. but ourÂ
ego personality is so varied.... it is a  masterpiece ...
like thisÂ
Susanna
Thanks so much, Susanna!! You touched on some of my favourite poetic techniques in my writing, which I love. To be honest, if I were to share, I`d say that I find poetry much more than a verbal expression, really is so very fluid and dynamic and can be crafted into anything. For me, these techniques and structure are some of my key concepts in poetry and shape my work as well as my skills as a writer. I totally agree, each of us has a unique voice and it's been so awesome to meet heaps of them over my years in the Cosmos. Thank you for taking the time to write such an insightful comment, really, it is greatly appreciated.Â