Training Wheels

I never knew anything about love. Love was summer air and sticky nights, blackout and wake up to another pair of eyes feasting on my naked body. My doctor told me it was an obsession, that I collected a man for every year I spent wishing for death. Called me a good time and āeverybodyās favorite hobbyā. And when the love revealed itself into lust and the lust into āplease, no, stopā. He told me it was my fault for the voice of my past screams yes louder than any no could. And I still remember the days that I had no voice, so when I broke the silence, trying to save myself, nobody should ever tell you that youāre not trying hard enough when youāre fighting for your life. It becomes sink or swim when listening to the faucet drip as you get stripped of your sanity, he held me on the bathroom floor like a dirty towel that refused to lay flat, maybe I gave up to easily or maybe I knew the rest of the world wouldnāt believe me. Why wouldnāt they believe me. Like your first time falling off a bike wondering why your parents didnāt catch you. Why didnāt they catch me. Like your first time waking up in a sterile room looking at a hospital ceiling. Why did they save me. My bloody wrists and the look in my motherās eyes, I donāt think she ever forgave me for saying that I never asked for this life that she gave me, even though she paved my way and taught me how to act like a lady so hereās a toast because Iāve always been good at lying and to this day thatās the one that made my nose grow the most and Iām sorry momma for the things I say, and how it had to be this way but you gave me the strength to carry myself to see the light of day and for all things gone unsaid this one hurts the worst and for all the days I spent looking for my worth youād think Iād have a garden for every seed of hatred I planted in myself but hey, sun shine would be nothing without shade, and to be honest Iām a sucker for the rain, so maybe lifeās not so bad or maybe itās just the weather but everything crushes under pressure
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Comments
WOW!!.... this is crazy good!!.... the intense reality of your voice speaking the words on the recording is overwhelming to any ear that owns an empathetic heart!!!..... this is a BEAUTIFUL unburdening!!......I pray that those you have in place to help you through these crazy days that you must be experiencing, are truly kind and beneficial in every way possible!!......you're a fine writer of prose from what I can discern from these most powerful words!!......... Keep writing dear poet sister !!.....and may the Gods smile upon you ......from this day....... and every day henceforth!!.......ALL STARS!!.... well done LO KELL!!..... and........ WELCOME to COSMO!!.......LOVE and ROCKETS!!.......T xo ā¤ā¤ā¤
Thank you so much, I truly cannot tell you how much it means to me to see such positive vibes on a piece I have literally had sitting in my phone unheard from any ears but my own. This is the first I have really gone public with any ofĀ my pieces and having a complete stranger actually listen to my voice with my words and enjoy it, means the world to me. Thank you for the energy (:Ā
Yes, a powerful peice and boldly written.
Welcome to cosmo.
John
Thank you so much!Ā
Oooh my word! This was intense, listening and reading whilst I felt your pain throughout, not many things astound me but this Lo Kell, has hit a raw nerve, the way you put it across like a rollercoaster of ups and downs, I must agree with my poet brother Tony... this truly is CRAZY GOOD!! ā®??????
Thank you so much for the kind words! Iām so overwhelmed by the amount of support on this piece, it truly means the world to me
Not a problem dear poetess, keep writing get your thoughts out there, they will be people who can relate, I'm sure of that, I'll look forward to many more ???
One more comment to add, WELCOME! This place will be your new home haha, may you feel welcomed in your very own comfort of being made feel worthy, we are all worthy ??????