Trapped in Freedom

In a cage, down and full of rage. You put me here, you let my body fill with fear. I blame you but really this is all on me, for I'm a lost cause can't you see?

Behind I looked out behind a fence, a home for the insane is where a file lies with my name. I once sat in the bathroom, bottle full of pills in me, my fate you can assume.

Only last minute I was caught, to the hospital I was brought. Needles, eKGs, IV, x-rays, oh what a perfect day. I was sick and shaking, my soul breaking; I laid on a bed, full of pain, praying and wishing that I was dead. 

They came for me, a 51/50 was all I could see. I was strapped to a gurney, ankles, thighs, hips, waist and wrists. A wrist full of scars and open wounds, a mental battle hit me way too soon.

I tell you this as a warning and as hope that someday everything will be okay. I was trapped in a room, allowed out for a few hours at noon, with nothing and no one. They told me I can't be fixed, then handed me a pill and said "take this".

I learned a lot that day, more emotions that I can never say. Let me tell you recovery to me was a new discovery of life. A life that was given to me, for a reason, for a purpose. I was not hopeless. They opened the door, and I loved life more.

But, behind the fence I watched the world around me move, my town kept going without me, my descent down a hole that never ends. Trapped in darkness, I thought it was game over. After a few days in incarceration I was sober. No longer glued to pills, I used to take up to 40 pain killers a day, this I'm not proud to say.

I am here today, to tell you life may be full of madness, of sadness, insanity, and a harsh reality; but this cannot stop you from being who you are. You are not just a suicide note, you are not the fresh cuts on a wrist, you are not nothing. You're here and reading my words of wisdom, I just hope one day you find happiness in your kingdom.