Truth Be Told

I'm sorry our relationship turned out to be like this
I'm sorry I can't look at you as my mom, but only as my mother
I'm sorry that I couldn't be enough for you, to want to get your moods aligned together in your minds compass
I'm sorry that I'm even having to write this but I tried my best, and I tried my hardest
Day in and night out, you just wanted to continue to fight with me
I'm sorry, but at the same time, not sorry, 
Because I'm done letting you fuck with me mentally
I'm done letting you fuck with me emotionally
I'm done letting you bother me in any shape or form because I'm letting you go so I can finally be free
I don't sugar coat anything and I have no filter, these are my biggest qualities and I regret nothing
I say what I mean, and I mean what I say
You are already dead to me, 
This is just me being completely honest with you, and me
I'm done trying and get nothing in return but empty apologies
I'm done falling victim to the demons inside of YOUR head
Because I have my own, and well mommy dearest, they don't play well with others
You were never a Mom to me, but the evilest kind of mother
You allow yourself to drown in your own sorrows, 
and I need you to know that I no longer care to bother, or be bothered
YOU did this to YOURSELF, Not me, not even my little brother
You treat us like we're not even from the blood that is running through your veins
And yes, This is truly how I feel, please understand, YOU imbedded me with all of this pain
This truth might come to a shock or a total disaster to you, but that's no longer my issue either, or my problem
I choose to smile, I choose to live, I choose to be happy
I'm done letting you manipulate me into feeling ever so crappy
Misery loves company and I'm sorry but I can't be around you anymore
I'm trying my hardest to get myself out of here and through that front door
I can't stand the sound of your voice, 
If it was humanly possible I'd be deaf by choice
I can't even stand the sight of your face
I can't believe I wasted so much of my time trying to please Satan 
But I guess I was blind because you made me believe you were my Mom
But then I sit and ponder, sometimes even wonder
Mom's don't treat their kids like this!
They don't tell their daughter that they are the reason they want to die!
Every time I hear that or think about it, it makes me want to scream out and just ask you
If that's how you feel, then why the fuck are you still here?
If that's how you really feel, then why the fuck are you still alive?
I'm sorry this is cruel, but honesty is the best policy that is something I truly believe in
Because it's people like you that bring MY inner evil out, my own personal Satan within
I can't have that for this is my year, to do better and be better
And as unfortunate as it may be in the real world, the real reality
My life going forward is something I choose to do without you because you truly never was ever there for me
I think about you and I can't help but instantly see red
There's no reason in the world besides that one small sentence you said
That has me waiting ever so patiently for the day I find out that you're finally dead
That's the day I'll truly be free, I won't have to cry myself to sleep anymore
because of the stress or the constant worry
Just remember YOU did this to YOURSELF because I was only ever trying to be…
your loving… daughter
I've come to the decision of mentally disowning you, just like the way I disowned my father
You two really belong together, it's a shame you guys didn't last
But you push everyone away from you, and I'm finally jumping out of this ship
before it goes and gets into a total crash
If anyone asks, my story will remain like this, I'm just an adult orphan
And I have no parents, if you hear of anyone claiming to be my mom or dad
Just do me a small favor, correct them, tell them I'm on my own,
and if they decide to talk about me, then they need to address me accordingly
I'm not anyone's daughter and my fucking name is Stephanie.

March 16th 2025
Enough is enough and I've had more than enough!!