Tunarama, Port Lincoln, down under

“Here comes a tosser, if ever there was one.
Have a go, matey, it’s a thirty two pounder.
Not too much weight to throw for us Aussies
Though for pommies like you I’m sure it’s a big load.
 
Come on, matey. I don’t mean to goad
But you’ll not look good in your missis’ eyes
If you don’t give it a try.
 
Here matey, take the handle
And make sure you keep
Your size twelve sandals
Inside the throwing circle.
 
No touching, mind you,
That won’t do at all;
And remember the tuna’s
A fish not a ball!
 
Gee, golly, matey, what a big throw!
You’ve passed the test
Your lady’s impressed
Enjoy the rest of the show!
 
Before it starts to snow!
 
Sorry, matey! Just joking.
No, I’m not poking fun at you!
It was just a bit of chunder.
You’ve done really well.
 
Now don’t forget to tell
Your friends back in Blighty
About your almighty
Achievement.
 
Here is your scroll. Was that thunder? ,
Says you’re a big tosser
The same as us Aussies Down Under."