Twisted, Sick
Addiction, you have sent me reeling,
headlong over feet
I sneak around and lie for you,
itβs important that Iβm discreet.
So nothing comes between us ,Β
cause I need you aroundΒ
You pick me up we dance ,twirl, spin
right before you knock me down.
Addiction, are you angry?
I feel strongly that you are...
I scream at you βPLEASE DONβT LEAVE MEβ
I wear your tell-tale scarsΒ
I mainline this cyanide through my eager veinsΒ
Twisted,Β
sick,
compulsion,Β
needles stabbing,Β
kills my pain.Β
Devouring any hopeful dreams
that I could one day be
Someone to be cherished,
loved and truly happy.
When I was ten
he pushed you in
hoping I wouldnβt tellΒ
Now we are inseparable
depravity is where we dwellΒ
Trust meΒ
I cant handle my reality
so I stay high
Until the day comes to pass
when I donβt want to die.
Heidi Shavill
2013Β
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Comments
Excellent poem Heidi, it really captures addiction, when I was young I went through some shit and became addicted to codine, it really helped at the time but I fucked up my head a bit, I associated with codine on a different level then one day I imagined codine took the form of a black helium filled balloon, I went outside and let it go, I still think about codine sometimes but then I just remember that he is no longer in my life.
Thanks for sharing your story with me.Β IΒ have battled with addiction my entire life.Β I am clean now but i know it is a fine line i walk on. Im glad my poem reached you.Β
Thank you for your story.Β I too found my way i hope.Β I have battled addiction my whole life and used intaveinously with a cutters mentality.Β I no longer have viable veins.Β I mean they supply sufficiant enough to sustain life but blood draws and IVs are damn near impossible.Β Β I regret it and it embarrasses me now. But it is what it is. Keep fighting the good fight!Β
These words of wisdom I deeply savor
do me the honor and return the favor