two dark poems

Depressed Morbid Nights
One of these depressed, depraved, morbid nights
I shall awake to the God damned game of life

And sit under the graying light
Of the foolish full moon

And laminate upon my luminance
And chew up the garments of past lives

And cry my soul
But no one will hear the plight of my mind
On strike for better wages
And more love

Thus, I will sit, and think and dream
Dreams that no one ever before dreamt

It is so very lonely being a foolish lunatic
But then as I drink to oblivion
I begin to think

Of all those things that I have not experienced
And wonder with a vengeance

Why God hates me so
Or is it only an illusion?

When will I awake
Or do we just sit waiting for more beer
To cover up

The stench of putrid rotting flesh
Waiting for death to take us away

To the Cosmic garbage dump in the sky
Trying to communicate across a gap

That is light years’ long
And will never close

For man was not made to know
The real thoughts of another

Man was made to suffer, cry and wait
For the party in Hell afterwards

Shit, let’s us die and be done with it
Or live without our God damned dreams

Running our thoughts
Into pits of depraved madness

Early Morning Thoughts

Early in the midst of a chaotic frenzy
I caught the fragrance of her sweat grin
And my heart did a swirling spin
When I saw that vision of erotic delight

There I stood
Alone in a somehow too dismal room
Full of vibrant people
I knew not what to say

So, I spent that dismal day
Thinking dismal morbid thoughts of lugubrious doom
Thoughts what might happen that day
And what might have been if I had the courage to say Hello

Thus, it went
Years after ever melancholy year
Days after ever gloomy days
Nights of self-induced torture

Months of nightly rancid beer
There it went

Now
I am sitting and thinking
Thoughts so gloomy
I still don’t know

Life belongs to the living
Not to the morbid mystic dreamers
Nor the poets dying

published in rosette Maleficarum 
https://rosettemaleficarum.wordpress.com/2017/10/30/depressed-morbid-nights-by-john-cosmos-aller/