Useless, Wasted, Tears

As tears roll down my cheek,
I think of my past.
Where I lived bored,
In a small, small, apartment.
I was rich and single.
Living off my fortune and earning more each day.

My small boring life.
School was boring and I despised everything.
Everything was boring.
Every day, I think of the unanswerable,
Keeping myself from living my boring old life.
Tired of life I tried to find meaning.

My boring old life was changing, though still boring.
I was rich and the bullies that had once hated on me begged for forgiveness.
I did not grant it because they did not offer anything that caught my eye.
People begged until they felt tired.
I was bored once again.
Attacked by those who hated me.

I found myself bored.
Shining lights blinding me where I go.
What a boring life.
Falling asleep half-way through,
I was bored to the bone.
Then I met him.

He meant nothing at first, simply a guy with a different perspective.
Then I had a pounding heart.
I think it was his personality.
He seemed loving.
A pink-cheeked me said hi.
My life had found a meaning…again.

My work was pitiful and boring.
My social media blew up and without a second thought,
I quit it completely.
No, I tell myself.
Never will I let myself feel again.
That night took it all, him, the one who gave me my first bout of tears..

I wiped out all emotion at last.
Until I met him of course.
A summer day and there he was.
A foolish smile from him and I let him mend what I thought was my forever broken heart.
I let myself love again.
Let myself feel again.

We fell in love.
I was head over heels.
We married and had kids.
My work was now a festive party.
Until the day he left me.
Left me like the other guy did.

That is how I lost my second bout of tears.
Tears of sadness that came from the broken heart I was made with.
I am my boring old self again.
Not a trace of emotions and all happiness.
My boring old self had come out again.
I don’t mind.

I will not be hurt again,
Never shall I let myself feel again.
My tears spilled over men were tears wasted.
Goodbye sadness.
Enjoy my face, devoid of emotions.
I will not be attacked again.

And when death comes for me,
I will fall gladly in death’s arms,
Because I know that I have given it my all.
Trying everyday to mend a heart beyond repair.
My soul practically gone and nowhere to go.
I will say, “Goodbye life I hope you don’t treat everyone the same. Never create another me.”