VOID IN VAIN

I hadn’t felt her sadness,
since last time we met abuse
And once again, I can't escape,
with cigarettes or booze.

An urgency, still burns to earn,
that turn in time again
Unleashing empathetic pain
upon your soul, I mend.

For the constant cruel reminder
of your anxious body bent,
Makes me re-evaluate
the life you stole and spent.

Rehearsed applause soon reassures
my cause was well and just.
And just because your naked
in my dreams you bare no trust.

Here I refrain from purging up
a panic stricken mess
My dry mouth must resist the kiss
of a blistered lips’ caress.

In pain, I gain invalid void,
missing out on much
Such as the tender, tantalizing
taste of your wet crutch.

One touch, one suck,
should surely satisfy my missing need.
Of you, my dear dead girlfriend,
whom I fantasize in sleep.

So discreetly feel my fingers, five
eagerly entering deep.
Now just pretend, you’re still alive,
and come all over me.

Such is the life, of my lost long wife
I chose to blame and maim.
For all I do, she brings nothing new,
thus this instance is now void in vain.

And yet again her sadness sweeps
away a chance to find
an empty plot, to fill the slot,
of a criminal mastermind.

Never mind, my time will come
when all will be forgot
So just for now, be thankful for
the woman you’ve still got.

Cause I can tell ya, how I wish,
she got to feel my fist.
Entering further than any murder,
a thirst to slit both wrists.

An idea born from brain, insane
left me no chance to voice
With blade in hand, the sharp edge ran
it's course without a choice.

Across cold skin, I felt no sin
thus how could I resist?
Now sadly I must live my life
in a consequential abyss.

Carey Milton © 2016