WHEN I SAW YOU LAYING THERE

Not accepting this news, out of love, out of fear,
I wanted to see you, then, I'd be clear.
This was a nightmare, invading my head,
No recollection, of what anyone said.
Holding your photo, close to my heart,
I felt, seering pain, I was falling apart.
This couldn't be true, I heard myself cry,
He would not have left, without saying goodbye.
The policeman stood tall, and softly he said,
I'm sorry to tell you, your son's been found dead.
The room started spinning, I cried and I cried,
He had taken his life, it was suicide.
That day, seemed so long, as the hours passed by,
Secretly hoping, it had all, been a lie.
I stared, out of, the window, hoping that you'd call,
That they, had been mistaken, you didn't die at all.
I felt I had to see you, so you knew, that I was there,
To tell you, how I loved you, and this, really, wasn't fair.
Once inside the mortuary, I thought I'd let you down,
My tears, flowed like a river, I was fighting not to drown.
Inside, my heart was breaking, more than I could bear,
Then through a little window, I saw you laying there.
You looked like you were sleeping, I hoped, it may be true,
I kissed your head, and said goodbye, this was when I knew.
My life had changed forever, I'd lost you now for good,
If I could've stopped this happening, you know, I truly would.
To lose a child, to sùicide, fills you with despair,
The pain was all consuming, when I saw you laying there.
By Lyn Mcphee
A MOTHER BEREAVED BY SUICIDE
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