When I talk about you I feel as if it is a sin

You gave us hope, opened us up.
Why did you have to go, a question mommy and I will never know.
You were growing it seemed so fast 
Your heartbeat just did not last 
The pain when I saw the picture of you still
Haunts my memory like a addict with a pill
I ask myself often why and keep it all in
When I talk about you I feel as if it is a sin
I wonder if you watch us up there with beautiful wings
I wonder if  you see some family that would have kissed and showered you with things
When its late I miss you and what would have been your grandmaw
I wonder if you both meet the luckiness she will see
I do not know why you had to go 
Just please know mommy and I loved you