Who is it you see ?

Who is it you see?

Who was it your mind always saw
Always speaking words of untruth
Calling me names and feeding me lies
Always trying to criticize 
Thru your eyes I would have liked to seen
It seemed to me you where in a dream
You never understand who I really was
How much I loved you and let you be you
But you could never let me be me
And this was always the problem you see
Your words always cut me to the core
Each time you hurt me, 
it's as if you where keeping score
I know that someone did this to you
And you never recovered, so I let it be
Because I thought One day you'd finally see
Who I really was and that I loved you so
I never thought it would be the very day you went home
Some now I am stuck with these memories and pain
And so I delude myself trying to gain
The relationship I always deserved
My mind now is the ruler of these things
And usually I keep the bad thoughts locked away
But now and again on a rainy day
The truth rears it head and  I hear all the rain
And the words that you spoke just to cause pain
I live in deception because I never understood
Why your eyes were so broken, who was it you saw
Can you come to me  now and ever explain
Why it was you took love and gave me pain
In my heart I truly forgave you for this
But the memories sometimes insist
That I hear them over and over again
The words that you spoke always trying to gain
Tears and the ugliest of pain
Know when I speak of you I have to lie
Because you see it was my mother that died
And I can never tell these things to another
I can't even speak of them to my brother
I pray know you see me for me
And somewhere  in heaven that your finally free
That I loved you so much, it didn't matter
That I was a mirror and your words shattered
All the hopes that I had of being your friend
And now all I can do is try and pretend
We had a great life and relationship too
And try even harder not to be like you