Wish I could tell you

I'm beginning to think you were always the one
Your smile touched familiar places in my memory
Your laugh echoed into rooms left unattended
Your mind was a place I loved to setup holidays to
But it seemed to be a place I always came back dazed from 
I yearned for shelter in your heart but felt denied
I yearned for a forever type setting but felt only designed for my mind
I ached for a few more times 
Less I am sorries
More I am happy to be here
Less hey remember me
More I am keen to move in any direction as long as it is with you
Less uncertainty
I felt this longing from you but mistook it for a longing for me
I was mistaken
I wasn't paying attention because I missed the signs
The loud fire alarms to evacuate 
Thing is somethings felt so scintillating 
I would be a fool to think of perfection
So I focused on moments all in alignment with this desire to be in union
Ignored all signs of things broken, left tarnished, things unspoken
But
In true life fashion these things surfaced like that which kept it all in place
Had let go all at the same time and all things were coming to surface as if it were pushing against a force and it all won and wanted to show up as loud as possible
Uncertainty became a daily serving 
With it came a barrage of emotions
None that were needed for a happy home
None that would keep anyone sane
I began to notice the cracks in our poorly setup foundation
Nothing healed and we felt brave enough to try put a present on top and future leaning alongside it 
We didn't say a word but when it all came down even our best facades wouldn't make up for the destruction
I wish I could tell you it was all worth it to try again
Maybe I would be in the best position to call it when the dust settles